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美文欣賞:你可以選擇自己想過(guò)的生活

時(shí)間: 若木620 分享

  Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:

  生活有時(shí)候困難得難以置信,但又不容置疑。我們面臨的挑戰(zhàn)與困境似乎無(wú)法抵御,試圖毀滅我們生活,甚至使你猶疑是否繼續(xù)走下去。但是你總有選擇的余地。從人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯樂普,在這里與我們分享她啟迪心靈、充滿震撼力的生活之旅。

  In 2012 I had the worst year of my life.

  2012年是我生活中最艱難的一年。

  I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.

  我做著討厭的財(cái)務(wù)工作,住在難尋綠色的高樓林立的城市。我忙于無(wú)意義的交往,在一些膚淺表面的東西上大筆開銷。我尋找快樂,卻又不知道它在哪里。

  美文欣賞:你可以選擇自己想過(guò)的生活

  Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.

  然后我患上了慢性疲勞綜合癥,幾乎到了臥床不起的地步。我不得不辭掉工作,同時(shí)也就斷了財(cái)源。我和那時(shí)僅相處了3個(gè)月的男友住在一起,經(jīng)濟(jì)上完全依賴于他,我們的關(guān)系承受著巨大壓力。終于我恢復(fù)健康,但不久,我接到家里的電話,父親的癌癥急劇惡化,已經(jīng)住進(jìn)了臨終關(guān)懷中心。

  I left the city and I went home to be with him.

  我離開了城市,回家陪父親。

  He died 6 months later.

  6個(gè)月之后,他去世了。

  My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.

  父親的事讓我徹底清醒。他一直很強(qiáng)壯,在他咽氣之后一分鐘里,我真的認(rèn)為,他會(huì)活過(guò)來(lái)。我不能相信,我再也不能依偎在他溫暖的懷抱里,享受他寬大的胸懷帶給我的安全感。

  The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.

  母親和我們5個(gè)兄弟姐妹極為難過(guò),但至少我們還擁有彼此。

  But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.

  但是,那時(shí)我大姐開始抱怨著背痛,2個(gè)月后,因疼痛加劇也住進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。

  They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.

  醫(yī)生們檢查發(fā)現(xiàn),她已是骨癌晚期,對(duì)此他們已無(wú)能為力。

  She died 1 month later.

  1個(gè)月之后,她也走了。

  I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.

  大姐的逝去讓我陷入難以形容的痛苦之中。

  She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.

  在這個(gè)世界上,她是一個(gè)能走路、會(huì)說(shuō)話的天使,我最喜歡的人。如果有人問(wèn)我,世界上發(fā)生的最壞的事情是什么,那就是失去她。

  She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.

  她是我的靈魂伴侶,我從來(lái)沒有想過(guò),我會(huì)走過(guò)沒有她陪伴的生命旅程。

  The Moment Of Deliberate Choice

  抉擇時(shí)刻

  The shock and extreme heart break brought me to my knees. The pain was so great and my world just looked desolate. I had no real home, no money, no job, and no friends that cared. Not one person had even sent me a sympathy card for my loss.

  我被打擊和極度的心痛擊挎了。強(qiáng)烈的痛苦使世界在我眼中變得如此凄涼。我沒有真正意義上的家,沒有錢,沒有工作,也沒有關(guān)心我的朋友。沒有一個(gè)人因我失去親人而寄給我慰問(wèn)卡。

  I made an attempt of my own life and I ended up in hospital.

  我嘗試著活下去,結(jié)果住進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。

  I remember lying in the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling and seeing my sister’s beautiful face. She stayed with me all night long.

  我記得,躺在病床上,看著天花板,看到姐姐美麗的面龐。她整夜守候著我。

  I realised during that night that I had a choice. I could choose to end my life or I could choose to live it.

  那天晚上,我意識(shí)到我可以選擇。要么結(jié)束生命,要么活下去。

  I looked in my sister’s eyes and I made a decision not to go with her just yet. That I would stay and complete my journey here.

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