爆笑一年級英語笑話摘抄

　　冷笑話具有強大的生命力,一時間大紅大紫,廣泛流行于互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、論壇、博客、電子郵件、電視綜藝節(jié)目、喜劇電影、書籍、雜志等媒體中。下面小編整理了一年級英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　一年級英語笑話摘抄

　　逮捕(中英)

　　A distinguished professor was arrested yesterday at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston, Texas while trying to board a flight with a calculator, protractor compass, and slide rule. The security crew immediately searched the elderly man when they saw him boarding with a calculator in his hand. A search of his handbag revealed the devices. The man was charged with carrying instruments of math instruction. Further investigation has revealed he is a member of the A1一Gebra terrorist network.

　　昨天，一位著名的教授在德克薩斯州休斯頓市的布什國際機場被逮捕。這位教授在登機時攜帶了計算器、量角器、指南針和計算尺等工具。安全檢查人員當看見他手中拿著計算器準備登機時迅速搜查了這個老人。在對他的手提包的搜查中發(fā)現(xiàn)了上述設(shè)備。這個男人將會被指控攜帶數(shù)學教學器具。進一步的調(diào)查表明這位教授是一名代數(shù)恐怖組織網(wǎng)絡(luò)成員。

　　一年級英語笑話鑒賞

　　不要和小孩子爭論(中英)

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　一個小女孩正在和她的老師討論關(guān)于鯨魚的事情。

　　The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

　　她的老師說，對于一頭鯨魚來說，從身體構(gòu)造的角度看它是不可能吞掉一個人的。因為它的嗓子非常小，盡管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動物。

　　The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.

　　那個小女孩說約拿(一位西伯來先知)就是被鯨魚吞掉的。

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

　　她的老師非常生氣，她又一遍告訴小女孩說，從鯨魚的身體構(gòu)造角度來講，是不可能吞掉一個人的。

　　The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.”

　　那個小女孩說:“那等我到了天堂我就會問問約拿的。”

　　The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

　　她的老師問:“那如果約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”

　　The little girl replied, `"Then you ask him”

　　那個小女孩回答:“要是那樣的話，你就去問他。”

　　一年級英語笑話賞析

　　則食物標簽的可能性(中英)

　　The label on the sauce packet that came with my bento lunch reads:

　　在我中午吃的盒飯送的調(diào)料包上，有一個標簽是這樣的:

　　"For purposes fried pork，chicken and beef.”

　　“為了目的，油炸豬肉，雞肉和牛肉。”

　　Obviously，there's a grammar problem here. My first thought was that a preposition was missing. But which?

　　很顯然，這句話有語法錯誤。我最開始想到的就是少了一個前置語。但是哪一個呢?

　　"For purposes of fried pork，chicken and beef?”

　　“為了油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉的目的”?

　　"Purposes for fried pork . . .?”

　　“油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉的目的”?

　　"Purposes about fried pork . . .?”

　　還是“關(guān)于油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉的目的”?

　　None of them made any sense. Then I realized the problem might not be grammar at all but merely spelling, when I remembered that the Japanese government permits the hunting of cetaceans:

　　沒有一句聽上去讓人能明白。這時我意識到，問題也許不是出在語法上，而僅僅是出在拼寫上。我想起來日本政府是允許獵殺鯨類的，所以應該是:

　　"For porpoises, fried pork，chicken and beef.”

　　“用于鯨魚肉、油炸豬肉、雞肉和牛肉。”