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學(xué)習(xí)啦>學(xué)習(xí)英語>英語閱讀>英語笑話>

一分鐘的英語笑話摘抄

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

  笑話產(chǎn)生于日常生活語境之中,以消遣和娛樂為目的,由普通民眾創(chuàng)造、表演和欣賞。下面小編整理了一分鐘的英語笑話,希望大家喜歡!

  一分鐘的英語笑話摘抄

  我們不能相信律師嗎?(中英)

  The justice department was trying a case against a company in New York,who had engaged the senior partner of the biggest law firm there, Alan Dean, to defend them. My father一in一law represented the Justice department.

  司法部正在和一家紐約的公司打官司,那家公司請了當(dāng)?shù)刈畲蟮囊患衣蓭熓挛锼母呒壓匣锶?mdash;阿曼·迪恩來為他們辯護(hù),而我岳父代表的是司法部

  There was a LOT of evidence and each side had their own idea about how to refer to the exhibits. My father一in一law went by the school of 1A,1B,1C,2A,2B etc,while Alan Dean went by A,AA , B,BB,BBB,C.

  雙方都找到了很多的證據(jù),而且對如何排序這些證據(jù)都各有各的高招。我岳父用了lA,1B,1C,2A,2B等的符號排列,阿曼·迪恩用的是A,AA,B,BB,BBB,C的序號排列。

  At one point, well into the trial, a piece of evidence for the defense was labeled “PPPP.” The judge was about half asleep but this reference caught his attention.

  審判中,有這樣一條證據(jù)被標(biāo)上了“PPPP”的符號,法官已經(jīng)半睡半醒了,可一聽到這個(gè)標(biāo)號,立刻提起了精神。

  Judge: Mr. Dean,what number was that exhibit?

  法官:迪恩先生,剛才那條證據(jù)的標(biāo)號是什么?

  Alan Dean: Pee pee pee pee your honor.

  迪恩:PPPP,長官。

  (The courtroom and judge giggles, every time pee pee pee pee is mentioned)

  每當(dāng)他一提到PPPP,整個(gè)法庭的人和法官都在笑。

  Judge: (smirk) Mr. Dean, please abbreviate your exhibit names from, for example, pee pee pee pee to 4P's.

  法官(傻笑著):迪恩先生,請你縮寫一下你的證據(jù)的標(biāo)號,比如“PPPP”為..4P"。

  AD: Yes your honor. I’d like to display the next piece of evidence.

  迪恩:好的,長官。我要出示下一條證據(jù)。

  Judge: What number would that be, Mr. Dean?

  法官:它的標(biāo)號是多少?

  AD: 4Q, your honor.

  迪恩:4Q,長官。

  一分鐘的英語笑話鑒賞

  家庭牧場(中英)

  Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch Unfortunately, after just afew years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

  兩個(gè)姐妹,一個(gè)是金色頭發(fā),另一個(gè)是黑色頭發(fā),她們繼承了家里的農(nóng)場。不幸的是,幾年后,她們出現(xiàn)了經(jīng)濟(jì)上臺階的困難。為了能夠使農(nóng)場不被銀行收回,她們必須去買一頭牛,這樣就可以喂養(yǎng)自己的家畜。

  The brunette balances their checkbook,then takes their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

  黑頭發(fā)的姐姐查看了賬簿,取出了最后的600美元,要到西邊的牧場去,因?yàn)槟抢镉幸粋€(gè)人在賣一頭好牛。

  Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’11 contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.” The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it.

  離開之前,她告訴自己的妹妹:“到那以后,如果我決定了買牛,我就和你聯(lián)系,你開車來找我,我們把牛拉回家。”姐姐到了那個(gè)農(nóng)場,仔細(xì)地看了看牛,確定了要買這頭牛。

  The man tells her that he can sell it for 9, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

  賣牛的告訴她,他可以以599美元的價(jià)錢賣牛,可不能再低了。付過錢后,姐姐開車到了最近的一個(gè)鎮(zhèn)子上,給妹妹發(fā)電報(bào)告訴她這個(gè)消息。

  She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick一up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

  她走進(jìn)了電報(bào)局,說:“我想給我的妹妹發(fā)一封電報(bào),告訴她我已經(jīng)為我們的農(nóng)場買下了牛,我需要她把拖車掛在小貨車后,開到這里,好把我們的牛拉回家。”

  The telegraph operator explains thathe'1l be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has class="main">

一分鐘的英語笑話摘抄

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

  電報(bào)員說他很愿意幫忙,然后說:"99分一個(gè)字。”姐姐在付過買牛的錢以后就只剩下1美元了。

  She realizes that she'11 only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word,’‘comfortable’ .”

  她想,這樣只能給妹妹發(fā)一個(gè)字,考慮了幾分鐘,她點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭說:“我想給我妹妹發(fā)一個(gè)字 —‘舒適’(comfortable)。”

  The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you

  want her to hitch the trailer to your pick一 up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”

  電報(bào)員搖搖頭說:“如果你就只發(fā)一個(gè)字 —‘舒適’,你的妹妹又怎么能明白你想讓她把拖車掛在小貨車上,開到這里拉?;丶夷?”

  The brunette explains, “My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.

  姐姐解釋道:“我妹妹是黃頭發(fā),她會慢慢的讀。”

  一分鐘的英語笑話賞析

  休息喝咖啡的時(shí)間(中英)

  A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order. She asked, "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

  一個(gè)辦公室里最近來了一位金發(fā)女孩,她的第一項(xiàng)任務(wù)就是出去買咖啡。她想第一天上班就出色地完成任務(wù),于是抓起了一個(gè)大保溫瓶,迅速地跑向附近的咖啡店。見她手舉保溫瓶,咖啡店的店員馬上走過來幫她訂咖啡,女孩問:“這個(gè)能盛下6杯咖啡嗎?”店員看了看暖瓶,遲疑了一下說:“我看能盛下6杯。”

  "Oh good!” the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf.”

  “啊,太好了!”女孩放心的嘆了口氣。“好,那就給我兩杯黑咖啡,兩杯普通的咖啡,兩杯德卡夫咖啡……”

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