讓人笑掉大牙的英語(yǔ)笑話
讓人笑掉大牙的英語(yǔ)笑話
笑話是一種流傳廣泛為人民群眾所喜愛的文學(xué)樣式。一篇好的笑話,總是以短小的篇幅、精煉的語(yǔ)言、諷刺的手法,表達(dá)一個(gè)引人發(fā)笑的故事,在笑中寓有深義,發(fā)人深思,促人戰(zhàn)斗,使人猛醒。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的讓人笑掉大牙的英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
讓人笑掉大牙的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
Getting into His Work 專注于工作
The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invited her to his private quarters to discuss her confession.
一位神父非常關(guān)切教區(qū)內(nèi)一位年輕美麗的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住處討論她的懺悔。
“Now, let me get this straight,” said the priest. “This young man you went out with--did he put his arm around your shoulder like this?”
“現(xiàn)在讓我把事情搞清楚，”神父說道“，這個(gè)年輕人跟你出去他是不是像這樣把他的手臂繞在你的肩膀?”
“Yes, Father, and worse.”
“是的，神父，還有更糟的事情呢。”
“And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?”
“他也像這樣把手放在你的大腿上嗎?”
“Yes, Father, and worse.”
“是的，神父，還有更壞的呢。”
By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl’s skirt and gave her a vigorous humping. “And did he do this?” he inquired.
此時(shí)神父已被刺激得興奮莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元?dú)獬渑娴睾退銎饜蹃?lái)“，他也這樣做嗎?”神父問道。
“Yes, Father, and worse.”
“是的，神父，還有更糟的呢!”
“But what could be worse than what I just did?”
“有什么還比我剛剛所做的更糟呢?”
“I’m afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap.”
“恐怕，神父，他把淋病傳染給我了。”
讓人笑掉大牙的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Can’t You Be a Little More Supportive? 你能不能多支持我一點(diǎn)?
The delighted young politician called his mother and reported enthusiastically, “Hey, Mom, I just won the election!”
一位年輕的政客打電話給他母親，高興地說道“：嘿，媽，我剛贏得這次的選舉呢!”
“Honestly, dear?” exclaimed his mother.
“你沒在騙我吧，親愛的?”他的媽媽驚叫。
“Aw, Jeez, Mom, do you have to bring up something like that at a time like this?”
“喔，媽!在這種時(shí)刻你還要提出像這樣的問題嗎?(你這時(shí)還不相信我嗎/你 還以為我是政客的虛假作風(fēng)嗎?)不相信我嗎?”
讓人笑掉大牙的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
the perfect solution 完美解決之道
president shrub was flying over the u.s. with his staff. suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration: “you know, i think i’ll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy.”
史拉伯總統(tǒng)和他的幕僚正搭機(jī)橫越美國(guó)上空。忽然間他心中突發(fā)奇想“，我想由窗口扔一張五十元美鈔下去，讓某個(gè)人高興一下。”
“mr. president, why don’t you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy? ” suggested his celebrated secretary of state.
“總統(tǒng)先生，您為什么不丟五張十元的鈔票讓五個(gè)人高興呢?”著名的國(guó)務(wù)卿建議道。
vice-president partridge caught on, “golly, mr. president, why don’t you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy ?”
副總統(tǒng)派翠基接著說“：啊，總統(tǒng)先生，您為什么不丟五十張一元鈔票，好讓五十個(gè)人高興呢?”
the pilot turned around and said, “why don’t you just throw yourself out the window and make everybody happy?”
這時(shí)飛機(jī)駕駛員轉(zhuǎn)身說道：“為什么你不把自己丟出窗外，好讓每個(gè)人都高興呢?”
讓人笑掉大牙的英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
Change of Plan 臨時(shí)改變主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enter the army.
法蘭克和佛烈德兩人同一天收到召集令，兩人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had all their teeth pulled.
但法蘭克曾經(jīng)聽人說軍中不收沒有牙齒的人，因此他們兩人都把所有的牙齒給拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truck driver cut in between them.
在體格檢查那天，他們兩人排在同一排隊(duì)伍，可是有一個(gè)大塊頭、滿身毛發(fā)而且臭味難當(dāng)?shù)目ㄜ囁緳C(jī)插在他們中間。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he had no teeth. The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said, “Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected.”
當(dāng)法蘭克排到隊(duì)伍的前頭時(shí)，他對(duì)檢查的班長(zhǎng)說他沒有牙齒，那名士官要他張開嘴巴，接著用食指在他紅腫的牙齦繞了一圈后說道“：沒錯(cuò)，你沒牙齒，不用當(dāng)兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, “What’s your problem?”
接著輪到卡車司機(jī)，士官說“：你有什么問題嗎?”
The trucker said, “I’ve got a tremendous case of the piles.”
卡車司機(jī)說道“：我患有嚴(yán)重的痔瘡。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his forefinger and rotated it around thoroughly. “Sure enough, you’ve got a bad case. Rejected!”
班長(zhǎng)要那個(gè)家伙彎下身去，用他的食指在肛門轉(zhuǎn)了一整圈后說道“：沒錯(cuò)，你的情形很嚴(yán)重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, “And what’s your problem?”
再來(lái)輪到佛烈德，班長(zhǎng)又問“：那你的問題是什么?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, “Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all.
凝視著他的食指，佛烈德答道“：沒什么問題，班長(zhǎng)，我一點(diǎn)問題也沒有。”
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