英文版冷笑話
笑話是民族文化及社會(huì)生活中不可缺少的一環(huán),從古至今都擁有廣大的受眾,深受人們喜愛(ài)。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的英文版冷笑話，歡迎閱讀!
英文版冷笑話篇一
跟媽媽一模一樣的女朋友
No matter which girls he brought home, the young man found disapproval from his mother. A friend gave him advice."Find a girl just like your mother -- then, she's bound to like her."
So the young man searched and searched, and finally found the girl. He told his friendly adviser:"Just like you said, I found a girl who looked, talked, dressed, and even cooked like mother, And just as you said, mother liked her".
"So," asked the friend, "what happened?""Nothing," said the young man. " My father hates her!".
有個(gè)小伙子發(fā)現(xiàn)，無(wú)論他帶什么女孩子回家，媽媽都不贊成。一位朋友建議他，“你找一個(gè)像你母親一樣的女孩吧——你母親肯定會(huì)喜歡她的”。這個(gè)小伙子就找啊找啊，終于找到了一個(gè)女孩。他告訴自己的朋友：“就像你說(shuō)的，我找到了一個(gè)女孩，無(wú)論在感覺(jué)、說(shuō)話、打扮，甚至烹飪手藝都很像母親的，而且真的像你說(shuō)的那樣，媽媽很喜歡她。”“那么，”他的朋友問(wèn)到，“發(fā)生了什么事?”“沒(méi)事，”小伙子說(shuō)，我父親很討厭她!”
英文版冷笑話篇二
那個(gè)“甜嘴”老公的真相
Bernie was invited to his friend's home for dinner. Morris, the host, preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc.
Bernie looked at Morris and remarked, "That is really nice, that after all these years that you have been married, and you keep calling your wife those pet names." Morris hung his head and whispered," To tell the truth, I forgot her name three years ago."
實(shí)情
伯尼被邀請(qǐng)到朋友家吃晚餐。莫里斯，也是請(qǐng)客的主人，在每個(gè)客人面前都稱他的妻子為親愛(ài)的、我的愛(ài)人、甜心等等。
伯尼于是對(duì)莫里斯說(shuō)：“你真是很好，結(jié)婚這么多年后，你還是喊你妻子這么甜蜜的名字。”莫里斯則彎下腰來(lái)對(duì)伯尼輕聲說(shuō)：“告訴你實(shí)情吧，我3年前就忘記她的名字了。”
英文版冷笑話篇三
Sons' Gifts to Mother
Three sons discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother.
The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. Remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it."
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks.
She wrote one son, "the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."
She wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes."
"Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "you have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."
給媽媽的禮物
三個(gè)兒子商量給年邁的媽媽買什么禮物好。
大兒子說(shuō)，“我給媽媽建一幢大房子。”二兒子說(shuō)，“我給她買一輛奔馳。”三兒子笑著說(shuō)，“你們的禮物都不好。還記得媽媽多喜歡讀圣經(jīng)嗎?現(xiàn)在她視力不大好看不了了。我送她一只鸚鵡，會(huì)背誦圣經(jīng)的。媽媽只要起個(gè)頭，它就可以接著背下去。”
不久之后，媽媽分別給三人發(fā)了感謝信。她給大兒子寫道，“你建的房子太大了，我只能住一間屋，可是要打掃整幢房子的衛(wèi)生。”她給二兒子寫道，“我太老了，沒(méi)法出門旅行。大部分時(shí)間呆在家里，很少用車。”“親愛(ài)的，”她跟小兒子說(shuō)，“媽媽的心思你最明白，那只小鳥的味道美極了。”
英文版冷笑話篇四
我家的聰明狗會(huì)買報(bào)紙
A dog owner claimed that his pet, when given money, would go to the news stall to buy a paper. His friend insisted on a demonstration(演示) and handed the dog some money - The dog trotted(小跑) off, but an hour later he had still not returned with the paper.
“How much did you give him?” asked the owner.
“Five dollars.”
“Well, that explains it. When you give him five dollars, he goes to a movie.”
聰明狗
一位養(yǎng)狗人宣稱：要是給了愛(ài)犬錢，它便會(huì)到報(bào)亭買份報(bào)紙來(lái)。他的朋友堅(jiān)持要來(lái)做個(gè)演示，并給了狗一些錢。狗一溜小跑著去了。但一個(gè)小時(shí)過(guò)去了，仍不見(jiàn)它帶報(bào)紙回來(lái)。
“你給了它多少錢?”狗的主人問(wèn)。
“五元。”
“這就是了。你給它五元錢時(shí)，它就去看電影。”
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