簡(jiǎn)單爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全
簡(jiǎn)單爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全
冷笑話作為一種新興的頗受年輕人和網(wǎng)民喜愛(ài)的語(yǔ)言方式,一般不會(huì)使讀者在聽到或者讀到之后立即發(fā)笑,而往往會(huì)停頓一下才能明白其中的幽默點(diǎn)。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的簡(jiǎn)單爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話，歡迎閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)單爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇一
Bank Robbery 銀行搶劫
Two accountants are in a bank ,
當(dāng)武裝捻匪突然沖進(jìn)銀行的時(shí)候。
when armed robbers burst in.
正好有兩名會(huì)計(jì)人員在里面。
While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers,
正當(dāng)幾個(gè)搶匪向出納員取錢的時(shí)候，
others line the customers,
其他的搶匪就把顧客們，
including the accountants,
包括這兩名會(huì)計(jì)人員在內(nèi)，
up against a wall,and proceed to take their wallets,watches,etc.
靠著墻壁排成一線開始奪取他們身上的皮夾子和手表等物品。
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two'shand.
當(dāng)這件搶案正在發(fā)生的時(shí)候，一號(hào)會(huì)計(jì)人員把纂樣?xùn)|西塞迸二號(hào)會(huì)計(jì)火員的手里面。
Without looking down,a
沒(méi)有向下看，
ccountant two whispers,
二號(hào)會(huì)計(jì)人員就輕聲地說(shuō)：
"What is this ?" to which accountant number one replies,
“這是什么東西呀?”
"It 's that I owe you."
一號(hào)會(huì)計(jì)人員回答說(shuō)：“那是我欠你的五十元啦。”
簡(jiǎn)單爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇二
Smaller Fish
小魚
Two men were in a restaurant and order fish,
有兩名男子在餐廳點(diǎn)魚。
The waiter brought a dish with two fish,
服務(wù)生端來(lái)裝著兩條魚的盤子，
one larger than the other.
其中一條魚比另外一條來(lái)得大。
One of the men said to the other,"Please help yourself."
當(dāng)中一位男子跟另外一位說(shuō)：
The other one said"Ok,"
“別客氣，請(qǐng)自行取用呀。”
and helped himself to the larger fish.
另外一位男子說(shuō)：“好”，
After a tense silence,
于是就幫自己挑了比較大條的魚 。
the first one said,"really,if you had offered me the first choice,i would have taken the smaller fish!"
就在一陣氣氛緊張的沉默之后，第一位男子就說(shuō)：“真是的。如果你要我先選，我就會(huì)拿比較小條的魚。”
The other one replied,"What are you complaining for?you have it,don't you?"
另一位男子回答說(shuō)：“那你在抱怨個(gè)什么勁呀?你現(xiàn)在已經(jīng)拿了呀，不是嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)單爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇三
Exchange Sandwiches
交換三明治
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.
有兩位律師走進(jìn)一家小餐廳。點(diǎn)了兩份飲料。
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
然后他們就從他們的公文包當(dāng)中拿出三明治開始吃。
The waiter became quite concerned
服務(wù)生感到相當(dāng)不妥，
and marched over and told them,"You can't eat your own sandeiches in here!"
就走過(guò)去告訴他們：“你們不可以在這里吃你們自己的三明治!”
The attorneys looked each other ,
這兩位律師彼此看了一下對(duì)方，
shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
聳聳他們的肩膀，然后就交換三明治。
簡(jiǎn)單爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話篇四
Idiot Teacher
白癡老師
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜愛(ài)挖苦人的老師說(shuō)：“如果在這間教室里面有白癡，就請(qǐng)站起來(lái)好嗎?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后，有一名新生就站起來(lái)了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老師就以譏笑的口氣問(wèn)他：“喂， 先生，你為什么認(rèn)為你自己是個(gè)白癡呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all byyourself."
這名學(xué)生說(shuō)：“ 唉呀，實(shí)際上我才不認(rèn)為我是個(gè)白癡呢，而是我很討厭看著你一個(gè)人站在那里啦。”
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