長(zhǎng)篇簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話,顧名思義,是一種通過(guò)幽默的文字或圖示來(lái)達(dá)到令人會(huì)心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文學(xué)形式。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享長(zhǎng)篇簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
長(zhǎng)篇簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話：One tough secret
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him?"
God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"
長(zhǎng)篇簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話：Nun to worry about
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continueshissing at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn. She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f*** off our car!"
長(zhǎng)篇簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話：Sisters of Mercy
A man is driving down a deserted highway, and notices a sign that reads: SISTERS OF MERCYHOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 10 MILES.
He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and drives on. Soon, he sees another sign which says... SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - 5 MILES.
Realizing these signs are for real, he drives on, and sure enough, there is a third... SISTERS OF MERCY HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION - NEXT RIGHT.
His curiosity gets the best of him, and he pulls into the driveway. On the far side of the parking lot, is a somber stone building with a sign on the door that reads... SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps, rings the bell, and a nun answers the door in a long black habit, who asks "What may we do for you, my son?"
"I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing some business," he answers.
"Very well, my son. Please follow me," says the nun.
He is led through many winding passages, and soon he is very disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please, knock on this door" and leaves. The man does as he is told, and this door is opened by another nun in a long black habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs "Please place .00 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He places the money in this nuns tin cup. He trots eagerly down the hallway, and slips through the door, pulling it shut.
As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: "Go In Peace. You have just been screwed by the Sisters Of Mercy."
長(zhǎng)篇簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話：Are You Gay?
A man dies and due to his evil and sinful life, goes to hell. The devil himself meets him at the gates of hell and tells him, "I don't know what all you've heard up there, but hell isn't all that bad a place. Let me ask you, do you like to smoke?" The man answers, "Yes, I do" "Oh, good then," the devil says, "You'll LOVE Mondays. Every Monday we all sit around and smoke cigarettes, cigars, pipes, try out new types of tobacco. Do you like to drink?" The man answers, "Yeah, sure, I like to drink." The devil says, "Good, you'll love Tuesdays, then. All we do on Tuesdays is sit around and drink beer, wine, and all kinds of different mixed drinks.""You'll just love Tuesdays. Do you like to swear?" "Sure," says the man, "I swear a lot." "Great then. You'll love Wednesdays." The devil says, "On Wednesdays, all we do is sit around and swear a lot, we try to make up new cuss words, and have a great time, you'll just love Wednesdays." "Oh, by the way," asks the devil, "Are you gay?" "Hell no," the man replies, "I hate fags!" The devil look at him, and says, "Then you're gonna hate Thursdays."
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長(zhǎng)篇簡(jiǎn)單的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
