小學(xué)三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞
冷笑話不同于一般的笑話，以其獨(dú)特的制笑機(jī)制，能瞬間制造出一種特殊氛圍。小編精心收集了小學(xué)三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
小學(xué)三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：The Bridge Players
Shortly after being assigned to a new base, a Lieutenant1 and his wife were invited to the Colonel's home for an evening of bridge. The Lieutenant was partnered with the Colonel's wife and vice2 versa.
After many hands, the Lieutenant excused himself to use the toilet, but accidentally left the door ajar. When the sound of splashing echoed through the family room, his wife was greatly embarrassed and attempted to apologize.
The Colonel's wife smiled demurely3, "Don't worry about it; this is the first time all evening that I've been able to tell what he has in his hand."
小學(xué)三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：How Man Earned Longevity
God created the donkey and told him: you will work tireless from sun up to sun down, carrying heavy bags on your back, you'll eat grass, you will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You will be a DONKEY!
The donkey answered: I'll be a donkey, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years. And God gave him 20 years.
God created the dog and told him: You will look after the man's house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25 years. You will be a DOG!
The dog answered: God, living 25 years is too much, give only 10. God gave him 10 years.
God created the monkey and told him: You will jump from branch to branch, you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years.
The monkey answered: God, living 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years. And God agreed.
Finally, God created man, and told him: You will be Man, the only rational being on this earth, you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.
The man answered: God, I'll be man, but living 20 years is not enough, why don't you give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 20 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years that the monkey refused.
That was what God did, and since then, Men live 20 years like a man, then he entersadulthood1 and spends 30 years like a donkey, working and carrying the load on his back, then when his children leave home, spends 15 years like a dog, looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him, then he gets into retirement2, and spends 10 years like a monkey, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse the grandchildren.
小學(xué)三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Havaii
Two people are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced "Havaii" or "Hawaii". So they stood there arguing and arguing, until they decided to ask aperson that was walking by. They asked the gentelman: "Excuse me sir, is Hawaii pronounced "Havaii" or "Hawaii"?The gentelman said, "Havaii".So they both looked at each other, and as the gentelman was leaving, one of the two said to him, "Thank you".The gentelman replied and said: "You're velcome"!
小學(xué)三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話： Christmas Turkey
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
小學(xué)三年級(jí)英語(yǔ)笑話：Thankful Drunk
The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, sir. You're obviously drunk"
The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was a cripple."
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