長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話閱讀
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話閱讀
任何笑話之所以可笑是因?yàn)樗鼮槿藗兯J(rèn)知，若笑話不能夠?yàn)榻庾x者所認(rèn)知，它也就算不上笑話了。小編精心收集了長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話：Jury Candidate
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "An intentional killing that occurs while thedefendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found in a 'compromising position.'"
"See, I have a problem with that passion business," responded one jury candidate. "During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him!"
Needless to say, she wasn't selected for the jury.
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話：Lawyer's Dog
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, b-lines for the local butcher shop and steals a roast off the counter. The butcher goes to the lawyer's office and asks, "if a dog, running unleashed, steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?"
"Absolutely," the lawyer responded. The butcher immediately shot back, "Good! You owe me .99 for the roast your dog stole from me this morning."
The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for .99. A few days later, the butcher, browsing through his mail, finds an envelope from the lawyer.
The contents read "Consultation: .00."
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話：Lawyer Vacancy
There was a job opening in the country's most prestigious law firm and it finally comes down to Robert and Paul.
Both graduated magna cum laude from law school. Both come from good families. Both are equally attractive and well spoken. It's up to the senior partner to choose one, so he takes each aside and asks, "Why did you become a lawyer?"
In seconds, he chooses Paul.
Baffled, Robert takes Paul aside.
"I don't understand why I was rejected. When Mr. Armstrong asked me why I became a lawyer, I said that I had the greatest respect for the law, that I'd lay down my life for the Constitution and that all I wanted was to do right by my clients. What in the world did you tell him?"
"I said I became a lawyer because of my hands," Robert replies.
"Your hands? What do you mean?"
"Well, I took a look one day and there wasn't any money in either of them!"
長(zhǎng)一點(diǎn)的簡(jiǎn)單英語笑話：The Lost Ball
Two lawyers, Jon and Bill, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Bill a bet. Bill agrees and they're off.
They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Bill is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.
"Help me find my ball. Look over there," he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four stroke penalty, Bill secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground.
"I've found my ball!" he announces.
"After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?"
"What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!"
"And you're a liar, too!" Jon says. "I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!
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