簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話閱讀
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強(qiáng),普遍存在于人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂(lè)作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進(jìn)身體健康。小編精心收集了簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話篇1
Charity Begins at Home
慈善應(yīng)由家中做起
Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitable organization of which he was a member.
山姆，希德尼正挨家挨戶推銷他所屬的一家慈善機(jī)構(gòu)的彩券以籌募基金，
One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.
有一天早上他敲了蘇利文太太的門。
"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society',event)">Society," said Sam.
“您早!蘇利文太太，我是代表南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)的。”
"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.
“你說(shuō)什么啊?，’老太太大聲問(wèn)道。
"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIAI, SOCIETY',event)">SOCIETY ! "
“我說(shuō)我正為南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)賣彩券!”
"Eh?"
“哦?”
"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY',event)">SOCIETY ! "
“彩券!南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)!”
"You'll have to speak up, young man; there's no use mumbling. ',
“你應(yīng)當(dāng)說(shuō)大聲點(diǎn)，年輕人，喃喃低語(yǔ)是沒(méi)用的。”
"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.
“喔!干××，蘇利文太太!”山姆離開(kāi)時(shí)屏氣說(shuō)。
Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and Social Society',event)">Society. "
蘇利文太太關(guān)門說(shuō)道： “去你媽的，南方薩瓦那音樂(lè)及公關(guān)協(xié)會(huì)!”
簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話篇2
Where Do You keep Yours ?
你的東西放到哪兒去了?
The famous, but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern. Suddenly the intern noticed something peculiar.
一位上了年紀(jì)的著名醫(yī)生正在各病房做例行巡視，一位年輕的實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生跟著他，突然那名實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生注意到一件怪事。
"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have a suppository behind your ear?"
“醫(yī)師先生，您有沒(méi)發(fā)現(xiàn)您耳朵放了一支栓劑呢?"
"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner. "Do you know what this means?"
“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名醫(yī)說(shuō)道，“你知道那表示什么嗎?”
"What?"
“什么呢?”
"Some asshole has got my pen!"
“我把我的鋼筆塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”
簡(jiǎn)短正能量英文笑話篇3
A young vice president of a bank had embezzled 0,000, and squandered it at the race track. The bank examiners were due the next day, and there was no way he could conceal his crime. What's more, when he told the sad tale to his wife, she packed her bags and left him.
一位年輕的銀行副總裁挪用了二十萬(wàn)美金的公款，并悉數(shù)浪費(fèi)在賽馬上，銀行的督察第二天就要來(lái)視察，而他也沒(méi)辦法隱瞞他的不法行為。更糟的是，當(dāng)他把此一不幸的消息告訴他老婆時(shí)，她競(jìng)收拾行李，離他而去。
Totally despondent, the young man headed for the nearest bridge and prepared to throw himself into the river. Just as he was about to leap off, a hideous olci hag ran up to him, shouting for him to stop.
年輕人非常沮喪地走向離家最近的一座橋想投河自盡。就在他要跳下水時(shí)，一位面目可憎的老巫婆跑上前去，制止了他的行動(dòng)。
"You don't understand," explained the banker, and told her about his predicament.
“你不了解我的痛苦，”銀行家說(shuō)道，并且把他的困境告訴老巫婆。
"Ha-ha," chortled the hag. "Why, that's nothing. It just so happens that I'm a witch, and I can solve all your problems "The witch seemed to concentrate, made some mystic signs and uttered a series of bizarre phrases.
“哈哈!”巫婆咯咯地笑，“那也沒(méi)什么，剛好我是個(gè)女巫，我可解決你所有的難題。接著女巫似乎全神專注地在空中比劃一些玄妙的符號(hào)，口中還念著一大串奇怪的話。
"There you are," she said triumphantly. "Not only is the money returned, but there's another $ 200,O0O in your safe deposit box And your wife is back at home and the whole matter has been erased from her memory. "
“你的問(wèn)題我都幫你解決了，”她得意洋洋地說(shuō)道，“不僅要回了你那二十萬(wàn)，你的保險(xiǎn)柜里面還多了二十萬(wàn)美金!你太太也已回家，而且我已從她的記憶中除去了這件不愉快的事!”
"My God, can this really be true?" exclaimed the man.
“我的天啊，你說(shuō)的是真的嗎?，’那個(gè)人說(shuō)道。
"Of course," replied the hag. "But if you want to keep it true, you must do one thing. You must take me to a hotel and screw my brains out. "
“當(dāng)然啦!”巫婆回答道，“但是你如果要我保持目前這個(gè)狀況的話，就必須答應(yīng)我一件事，帶我到旅社并和我做愛(ài)一個(gè)晚上。”
The man gulped, for the old woman was truly hideous, and smelt horrible as well. But seeing no alternative, he did as she requested, and holding his nose and averting his eyes, performed his duty manfully all night.
那個(gè)老兄吞了一口口水，因?yàn)榕撞坏L(zhǎng)像可怕，而且渾身臭氣逼人。由于別無(wú)選擇，他答應(yīng)了她的要求，整個(gè)晚上他屏住氣息，別過(guò)臉避開(kāi)巫婆的視線，不停地履行他的承諾。
In the morning, as he was getting dressed, the repulsive crone turned to him and said, "Sonny, how old are you anyway?"
隔天早上，銀行家正在穿衣服，那令人厭惡的丑老太婆面向他問(wèn)道：“小老弟，你究竟多大年紀(jì)呢?”
"Thirty-three," replied the executive.
“三十三，”老兄答道。
"And don't you think you're a little bit old to believe in witches?"
“那你不認(rèn)為你實(shí)在年長(zhǎng)得可以不相信有巫婆的存在了嗎?”
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