英語小笑話6篇

　　學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家整理的一些英語小笑話，希望我們的笑話欄目能夠給你的生活帶來一絲歡笑。

　　英語小笑話一：What are the Two Words?

　　A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

　　Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

　　一個(gè)非常和藹的老夫人有幾句話要對(duì)她的孫女說。我親愛的，老夫人說，我希望你能幫我一個(gè)忙。我要你答應(yīng)永遠(yuǎn)不要用兩個(gè)詞，一個(gè)是“討厭的”，另一個(gè)是“極好的”。你能答應(yīng)我嗎?

　　噢，當(dāng)然，奶奶。女孩說：是哪兩個(gè)詞?

　　英語小笑話二：奇猜異想

　　Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.

　　One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"

　　我們的物理教授千方百計(jì)引導(dǎo)我們討論阿基米德的排水原理。他告訴我們阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡，他進(jìn)入池子，發(fā)現(xiàn)水漲高了，溢出池沿。他對(duì)這一發(fā)現(xiàn)十分激動(dòng)，跑到街上高叫：“Eureka，Eureka!”教授問我們誰知道他喊的是什么意思。

　　一個(gè)學(xué)生站起來答道：“我光屁股啦，我光屁股啦!”

　　英語小笑話三:The Doctor Knows Better

　　A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."

　　"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.

　　Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."

　　"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

　　一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院。他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說：“我想他傷得很厲害。”

　　醫(yī)生說：“恐怕他已經(jīng)死了。”

　　聽到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說：“我沒死，我還活著。”

　　妻子說：“安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多。”

　　I Don't Need to Steal Any More

　　The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?”

　　一家大百貨店的老板在查帳中發(fā)現(xiàn)，他最信任的雇員從公司偷走了一百多萬美元。“我不要丑聞。”老板說。“我只要開除你。”那個(gè)雇員回答說：“不錯(cuò)，我是偷了你公司相當(dāng)一大筆錢?，F(xiàn)在我有游艇、一座鄉(xiāng)村別墅、珠寶，以及你能想到的一切 奢侈品。我什么都不需要了，你為什么要再雇個(gè)人來，讓他從頭做起呢?”

　　英語小笑話四：最丑的孩子?

　　A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

　　一位女士抱著她的寶寶上公交車，司機(jī)看到后說：“額，那是我這輩子見過的最丑的小孩。”

　　The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

　　女士走到車廂后面坐下，感到很憤怒。她對(duì)旁邊的男士說：“司機(jī)剛剛羞辱了我。”男士回應(yīng)說：“你快上去斥責(zé)他。去吧，我替你抱著你的猴子。”

　　英語小笑話五：A Man of Actions

　　A crowd of student was gathered on the campus of Oxford University. “You can have no doubt,” shouted a young man excitedly, “that if the Dean does not take back what he said to me this morning, I’ll leave Oxford this very evening!”

　　A buzzing noise followed. “What a man of actions!” one said in admiration. “How should we support him and learn from him!” said another.

　　Suddenly, a girl asked, “What did the Dean say to you, Hob?”

　　He bent and whispered to her, “Well,er???er???Miss Rose, er???he told me to get clean away from 　　Oxford this very evening!”

　　一群學(xué)生聚在牛津的校園里，一個(gè)年輕人情緒激動(dòng)地叫道：“毋庸置疑，如果那個(gè)家伙不收回他今早　　對(duì)我說的話，我今晚就離開牛津。”

　　下面一片喧嘩。“真是個(gè)言出必行的人。”一個(gè)人艷羨地說。另一個(gè)說：“我們要支持他、學(xué)習(xí)他。”

　　突然，一個(gè)女孩問道：“那家伙對(duì)你說什么了，霍波?”

　　他彎下腰小聲說：“哦，呃…呃…，羅斯小姐，呃…他說要我今晚從牛津滾出去。”

　　英語小笑話六：If I Am a Manager

　　One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – if I Am a Manager.

　　All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.

　　“I am waiting for my secretary,” was the boy’s answer.

　　一天課上，老師要同學(xué)們以“如果我是一個(gè)經(jīng)理”為題寫一篇作文。

　　所有的學(xué)生都在動(dòng)筆寫了，只有一個(gè)男生例外。老師走過去問他為什么不寫。

　　“我在等我的秘書”。那孩子答道。