笑話大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象,具有諷刺性和娛樂(lè)性。幾乎所有笑話都包含兩個(gè)要點(diǎn):一是笑話開頭,二是笑點(diǎn)。小編精心收集了爆笑英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇1

　　Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

　　Tom: I don't know, father.

　　Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

　　Tom: Our teacher, father.

　　父親：哎，湯姆，今天我跟你們老師談過(guò)，現(xiàn)在我想問(wèn)你個(gè)問(wèn)題。你們班上誰(shuí)最懶?

　　湯姆：我不知道，爸爸。

　　父親：啊，不對(duì)，你知道!想想看，當(dāng)別的孩子們都在做作業(yè)、寫字時(shí)，誰(shuí)在課堂上坐著，只是看人家做功課?

　　湯姆：我們老師，爸爸。

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇2

　　An old couple went into a restaurant and ordered something to eat: one Coca Cola and one portion of French fries. The old man sat down and the woman, his wife, sat opposite him, and he began to divide the Coca Cola into two glasses, half for him and half for his wife.

　　He divided all the French fries half-and-half. He gave half to his wife and kept half for himself. Then he began to eat and drink,and the woman just drank but didn't eat.

　　There was a young man who was standing next to the table and wondering why the old man had divided everything in half, and he thought that maybe they didn't have any money. He said to the old couple, "Okay, I can buy you one more portion; you don't have to share like that."

　　So the old man explained, "No, no, no, we have been married for forty years and we always share everything. Whatever we have, we share half and half. Don't worry, but thank you, anyhow."

　　But then after a while, he saw that the woman wasn't eating eat, and only the man ate, and he asked, "Why aren't you eating?" And the wife said, "Today it's his turn to use the teeth."

　　有一對(duì)老夫婦到速食店去，叫了一罐可樂(lè)和一份薯?xiàng)l。然后他們面對(duì)面坐下來(lái)，那位老先生先把可樂(lè)分成兩杯，一杯給他自己，另一杯給他太太。

　　接著他又將薯?xiàng)l分成兩份，一份給他太太、一份給自己。然后他開始吃薯?xiàng)l、喝可樂(lè)，但是他的太太只是喝可樂(lè)，不吃薯?xiàng)l。

　　一個(gè)年輕人剛好站在旁邊，看到老先生把每樣食物都分成兩半，覺(jué)得很奇怪，他想或許他們沒(méi)有錢，便跟老夫婦說(shuō)：‘我可以再買一份給你們，你們就不用這樣分了。’

　　老先生解釋說(shuō)：‘不、不!我們結(jié)婚四十年了，一直都是分享每件事物，什么東西都是一個(gè)人分一半。不用擔(dān)心我們，不過(guò)還是謝謝你的好意。’

　　過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，他看只有老先生吃著薯?xiàng)l，老太太沒(méi)吃，便問(wèn)老太太：‘你為什么都不吃呢?’老太太說(shuō)：‘今天輪到他用牙齒。’

　　爆笑英語(yǔ)經(jīng)典笑話篇3

　　Gerald, asked the teacher, what is the shape of the earth?

　　It's round, answered Gerald.

　　How do you know it's round? continued the teacher.

　　All right, it's square then, he replied, I really don't feel like getting into an argument about it!

　　杰拉爾德，老師問(wèn)：地球是什么形狀?

　　是圓形的，杰拉爾德回答道。

　　你怎么知道是圓的?老師又問(wèn)。

　　好吧，那它是方的，學(xué)生回答說(shuō)：我可不想與你爭(zhēng)論這件事情。

　　
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