妙趣橫生英語笑話四則

　　幽默笑話，能讓你在信手翻啟間開懷一笑，得到身心的徹底放松、心緒的怦然萌動、情感的欣然釋放。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)砻钊M生的英語笑話四則，歡迎大家閱讀!

　　妙趣橫生的英語笑話：你太晚了

　　On a bus a man discovered a pickpocket's hand thrust into his pocket.

　　"sorry," he said to the pickpocket, "you are too late. MY wife did it before you."

　　在公共汽車上，有個(gè)人發(fā)現(xiàn)小偷把手伸到了他的口袋里o

　　"對不起,"他對小偷說，"你太晚了，我妻子在你之前就做過同樣的事情了。”

　　妙趣橫生的英語笑話：你做了什么壞事

　　It was the Christmas season and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, “What is your offense?”

　　圣誕佳節(jié)到來，法官心情愉悅地問犯人：“你做了什么壞事啊?”

　　“I did my Christmas shopping early this year,” cried the prisoner.

　　“我今年圣誕節(jié)購物早了些”犯人回答。

　　“There's nothing wrong with that,” said the Judge. How early were you doing this shopping?”

　　“這么做沒錯啊，”法官說：“到底多早之前啊?“

　　“Before the store opened, ”answered the prisoner.

　　“商店開門之前“犯人答道。

　　妙趣橫生的英語笑話：放屁的問題

　　A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, ¨Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never small and are always silent.

　　有位小老太太去看醫(yī)生，她對醫(yī)生說：”醫(yī)生，我有愛放屁的毛病。其實(shí)也不是大問題，因?yàn)槲曳牌ú怀舳覜]聲音。

　　As a matter Of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know l was farting because they don't smell and are silent.” The doctor says, ¨I see, Here's aprescription.

　　事實(shí)上，自從我進(jìn)了你辦公室后，已經(jīng)放了至少20個(gè)屁了，但是你并不知道對吧，因?yàn)槲业钠ú怀簦疫€沒聲音。"醫(yī)生說：“好的，我明白了。

　　Take these piles 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, ¨I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts…although still silent... stink terribly.

　　吃這個(gè)藥片，一天三次連續(xù)吃七天，下星期你再來。一個(gè)星期后，老太太來了，¨醫(yī)生，你到底給的我什么藥，現(xiàn)在我放屁還是沒聲音。

　　The doctor says, “Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."

　　但是怎么這么臭"醫(yī)生說：太好了!既然你的嗅覺正常了，門開始治聽覺吧。¨

　　妙趣橫生的英語笑話：假如生活是一臺電腦

　　You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel. You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it ! You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings. You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy. You could click on "find"( Ctrl,F)to recover your lost remote control and car keys. To get your daily exercise,just click on "run"!if you mess up your life,you could always press "Ctrl,Alt,Delete" and start all over!

　　你可以通過控制面板增加或者刪除一些人：可以把孩子放進(jìn)回收站，然后在你喜歡的時(shí)候再還原;可以通過調(diào)整顯示器的設(shè)置讓外袁更好看：可以在吵鬧的時(shí)候關(guān)掉音箱;可以點(diǎn)擊¨搜索¨找到丟失了的遙控器和車鑰匙：鍛煉身體的時(shí)候，點(diǎn)擊¨運(yùn)行¨。要是你的生活一團(tuán)糟，同時(shí)按下¨ctrl，alt,delete 鍵，一切就會重新開始。