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外國(guó)英文風(fēng)趣笑話

時(shí)間: 焯杰674 分享

  在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘記了放松自己。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)外國(guó)英文風(fēng)趣笑話,希望大家喜歡!

  外國(guó)英文風(fēng)趣笑話:伊甸園

  Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, “What is wrong with you?"

  亞當(dāng)在伊甸園里走來(lái)走去,感到十分的孤獨(dú)。上帝問(wèn)亞當(dāng):“你怎么了?”

  Adam said, "I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

  亞當(dāng)說(shuō):“我連個(gè)說(shuō)話的人都沒(méi)有。”

  God said,"I will give you a companion and it will be a woman.” He said, "This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make, she will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.”

  上帝說(shuō):“我會(huì)給你找個(gè)伴兒,她就是一個(gè)女人。”上帝接著說(shuō):“這個(gè)人會(huì)為你煮飯,洗衣服,她會(huì)時(shí)時(shí)刻刻同意你的意見(jiàn),她還會(huì)為你生兒育女,而且從不會(huì)讓你在半夜里起床照顧孩子。她更不會(huì)嘮叨。她總是第一個(gè)承認(rèn)自己錯(cuò)了。當(dāng)你們有分歧的時(shí)候,她也不會(huì)頭痛,在你需要的時(shí)候,她仍舊會(huì)毫無(wú)保留地給你她全部的愛(ài)和熱情。”

  "She will not nag,” God continued, "and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement, she will never have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever needed.”

  亞當(dāng)問(wèn)上帝:“想得到這個(gè)女人,我要付出什么代價(jià)?”

  Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?" God said, "An arm and a Leg!”

  上帝說(shuō):“一條胳膊和一條腿。”

  Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"

  亞當(dāng)說(shuō):“那一根肋骨能換什么?”

  AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

  于是就有了后來(lái)的人類(lèi)歷史。

  外國(guó)英文風(fēng)趣笑話:看掌紋

  Paul was ambling through a crowded street fair when he decided to stop and sit at a Palm Reader's table.

  保羅正在一條擁擠的街市上閑逛,他停下來(lái),坐在了一個(gè)看掌紋人的桌子前。

  Said the mysterious old woman, "For fifteen dollars, I can read your love line and tell your romantic future.”

  這個(gè)神秘的老婦人說(shuō):“巧美元,我可以看出你的愛(ài)情線和你浪漫的未來(lái)。”

  Paul readily agreed and the reader took one look at his open palm and said, "I can see that you have no girlfriend.”

  保羅欣然地同意了,看掌紋的人看了一眼保羅的掌心說(shuō):“我知道你現(xiàn)在沒(méi)有女朋友。”

  "That's true,” said Paul.

  “對(duì),”保羅說(shuō)。

  "Oh my goodness,you are extremely lonely, aren't you?"

  “哦,我的天啊,你非常的孤獨(dú),對(duì)嗎?”

  "Yes,”Paul shamefully admitted. "That's amazing. Can you tell all of this from my love line?"

  “對(duì),”保羅害羞的承認(rèn)了,“太神奇了,你從我的愛(ài)情線中看出了這么多事情。”

  "Love line? No, from the calluses and blisters.”

  “愛(ài)情線?不,我是從你手上的繭子和水泡中看出來(lái)的。”

  外國(guó)英文風(fēng)趣笑話:用了一根棍子,就進(jìn)了監(jiān)獄

  David St. John, 37,was the victim last week of what police say was a terrible mistake.

  37歲的大衛(wèi)·斯特·約翰,上周成了警察犯的一個(gè)大錯(cuò)誤的犧牲品。

  The two Hayward police officers used their batons to hit St. John, who they didn' t realize was blind,after mistaking his collapsible cane for an illegal martial arts weapon, said Lt. Mitchell Penn, the police department' s internal affairs officer.

  警察署的內(nèi)務(wù)警官米切爾·潘說(shuō),兩名看守警察用警棍打了約翰先生,因?yàn)樗麄儧](méi)有注意到約翰是一位盲人,錯(cuò)把他的折疊拐杖當(dāng)作了一種違法的兩節(jié)棍。

  "It was a very regrettable incident,” Penn said Tuesday. "But from what I've seen so far it's not a case of overzealous officers. They had no idea he was blind-they were extremely upset when they found out.”

  “這是一樁讓人非常抱歉的案子。”潘在星期二時(shí)說(shuō):“但從我們所分析的情況來(lái)看,這不是由于警員過(guò)于認(rèn)真造成的,而是他們確實(shí)不知道他是盲人—當(dāng)他們知道真實(shí)情況后,后悔末及。”

  Field training officer Eric Ristram said St. John placed in his pants pocket what appeared to be a nunchaku, a martial arts weapon consisting of two round sticks of wood connect by a chain.

  野外訓(xùn)練軍官伊瑞克·瑞斯姆說(shuō):“約翰褲兜里放著一個(gè)東西,看上去像是一根兩節(jié)棍,它是由兩個(gè)可旋轉(zhuǎn)的木棍組成的,中間被一條鏈連著。”

  The officers thought the man could see their uniforms so they didn't identify themselves when they told St. John to hand over the contents of his pockets. St. John said later he thought he was about to be mugged.

  警官在讓約翰交出兜里的東西時(shí),以為約翰可以通過(guò)他制服來(lái)判斷他的身份,所以沒(méi)有出示證件,而約翰說(shuō)他還以為自己遭劫了呢。

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